Spurgeon once said, “When the home is ruled according to God’s Word, angels might be asked to stay with us, and they would not find themselves out of their elements.” Only Spirit filled believers could enjoy such a home life. If the key word that described the Spirit-filled wife was “submit”, the key word for husbands is “love.” Husbands sacrificially live for the spiritual betterment of the their wives. Spirit- filled husbands are servant leaders as was Christ.
In Mark 10:35-45 is an example of Christ’s servant leadership in stark contrast to the self promoting disciples who wanted greatness as modern culture dictates.
“And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came up to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 And he said to them, “What do you want me to do for you?” 37 And they said to him, “Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” 38 Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 39 And they said to him, “We are able.” And Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized, 40 but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.” 41 And when the ten heard it, they began to be indignant at James and John. 42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
C. J. Mahaney starts chapter one in Humility: True Greatness by referring to Jim Collins’ bestseller, Good to Great. The result of Collins researching 11 corporations which had become great was that each corporation’s CEO was “quiet, humble, modest, reserved, shy, gracious, mild-mannered, self-effacing, understated, did not believe his own clippings” and thus respected by their employees. In chapter three “Greatness Redefined” C. J. Mahaney defines humility as serving others for God’s glory. The proud disciples wanted to be served by sitting on the right and left hand of Christ in His kingdom. Christ rebuked these same selfish and bickering believers by washing their feet. Christ modelled true, humble servant leadership.
Husbands Serve Their Wives by Sanctifying Them Through God’s Word in Ephesians 5:26-27.
In Ephesians 5:26-27, Paul said that Christ gave Himself for the church “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” About “the word” Hoehner writes, “The ‘Word’ (rhemati) refers to the ‘preached Word’ that unbelievers hear (cf. rhema in Eph. 6:17; Rom. 10:8, 17; 1 Peter 1:25) (Harold W. Hoehner. Bible Knowledge Commentary, page 641).
One day Christ will present His Bride to Himself at the Judgment Seat without spot because He has cleansed her with His preached Word. God wants husbands to present their brides to Him at the Judgment Seat the way she looked on their wedding day because of their exposure to the preached Word. This requires two incredibly important responsibilities from men in the church. First, the pastor must “Preach the Word.” Secondly, the husbands must lead their wives to hear the faithfully preached Word of God.
Husbands Serve Their Wives by Protecting Them in Ephesians 5:28-30.
Paul writes in 5:28-30: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” I have been to enough covered dish fellowship meals at church to know that husbands feed and care for their bodies. Paul wrote that husbands should also out of love take care of their wives.
Peter addresses this issue in 1 Peter 3:7: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” Just because the wife is the weaker vessel physically does not mean she is inferior. Which is weaker, silk or denim blue jeans? Silk. Which is better? Silk. Which is weaker, gold or steel? Gold. Which is better? Gold. Which is weaker, a porcelian cup or a sledgehammer? A porcelian cup. Which is better? A pocelian cup. It is our job to protect our wives from anything or anyone who would harm them not just physically but spiritually.
Husbands Serve Their Wives by Commiting Themselves to Them in Ephesians 5:31.
Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 in verse 31: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” In Genesis 2:24, the husband leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. The word “cleaves” is a strong word. It means to be “glued.” I heard one preacher say because of this verse he was stuck with his wife. That was not nice. Like superglue we are bonded together. Maybe you have seen beautiful wooden lamentated arches in a church. Separate planks have been glued together to make the lamanated arches. If you tried to separate the glued planks you will rip, splinter, and destory the planks. This is what happens when two people who have become one in marriage and are separated or devorced. It devastates both.
It takes commitment to one another and the Lord to stay together. It takes being Spirit-filled because in our strength we will not succeed in our marriages. The theme of Ephesians, The Unity that Love can Bring, certainly applies in marriage. The fruit of the Spirit is love. Love for God and your mates will be the superglue that blinds you together.
