A friend of mine sent this story to me about the new fundamentals of the faith:
I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this fellow who looked like he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I’d try to stall him until the authorities showed up. “Don’t jump!” I said. “Why not?” he said. “Nobody loves me.”
“God loves you.” I said. “You believe in God, don’t you?”
“Yes, I believe in God,” he said.
“Good,” I said, “Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said, “Protestant or Catholic?”
“Neither,” he said.
“What then?” I said.
“Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
“Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” “New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Lose-Your Salvation Armenian Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Historical Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me too!” I said. “Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women Wearing Slacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Compromising Fundamentalist Not Against Women Wearing Slacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist.”
“Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women Wearing Sacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “KJV Only, Traditional Music Only Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women Wearing Slacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or Modern Version, Contemporary Music Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women Wearing Slacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Modern Version, Contemporary Music, Unashamed Fundamentalist Against Women Wearing Slacks Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist” he said.
“Auugghh!! You Heretic! What is this world coming to?” I said. And then I pushed him over.
The new Fundamentals of the Faith believers in Christ separate over are Music, Dress, and Bible Versions. We have come along way since 1909, when R. A. Torrey edited the “The Fundamentals” and identified five basic doctrines as the Fundamentalists of the faith that we unite around and separate ecclesiastically over: The Trinity, The Person of Jesus Christ, The Second Coming, Salvation by grace through Christ alone, and the inerrant and all sufficient Word of God.
There is no Scripture, however, for separating over the New Fundamentals of the Faith. If there are clear Biblical texts for separation over the New Fundamentals of the Faith please help me and bring them to my attention.
